Fashion Police

The Buffalo Sabres finally (mercifully) revealed their new uniforms yesterday, ending the terrible nine-year reign of the Goat Lord logo. Their primary colors are back to basics, deep blue and sharp yellow, and they're even bringing back the old purple-and-gold unis and logo for their third jersey.

However, the new uniforms themselves bear the mark of a corporate partnership with Reebok. The fit is not unlike the jerseys worn by the ice hockey nations in the Turin Olympics.

Take a look: sabres.com

Tell me these things don't remind you of football jerseys. They're high and tight in the shoulders against the shoulder pads, and slender down the torso, just like an NFL uniform which is designed to be snug to prevent linemen holding onto them to get good positioning. The logo itself, "reminiscent" of a buffalo, and the color scheme, are intended to look sleek to the television viewer. I think these monstrosities would look like nothing more than a splotch of blue and gold paint whizzing by. The jerseys even have the numbers prominent on the chest, because I'm sure the jersey designers realized that it'll be hard to identify a number on any player due to the haphazard coloration placement.

It wasn't that long ago that the actions of the players, not the style of the sweater, defined what looked sleek and bold and attention grabbing on a broadcast. Even as Gretzky, Lemieux, Yzerman, Gilmour, Kerr and dozens of others blazed around the rink, their names and jerseys were simple, vibrant, two color designs that caught the eye.

Take this new avant-garde Sabres logo and design, and place it up against these old style unis:

• The bright green, gold and white of the Minnesota North Stars circa 1985, with the iconic "N" logo
• The blue, orange, and white of the Edmonton Oilers circa 1985, with their large oil drop logo
• The star-spangled Washington Capitals jersey, in deep then lighter shades of red, white, and navy blue
• The fireball red and gold of the Calgary Flames, before their own art department went certifiably nuts
• The simple, traditional designs, colors and logos of the Montreal, Chicago, Detroit, Boston (mid 70's to 1995), Philadelphia, and NY Islander (pre-Gorton's mishap) teams.
  

Pales in comparison, doesn't it? I blame the teal explosion of the early 90's and it's evil cousins - the four-color uni (Florida, Nashville, Vancouver, Anaheim - j' accuse!), and the quirky hit-and-miss third jersey - for making something like the new Buffalo uniforms acceptable.

We'd better get used to it though. The Reebok partnership with the Sabres is just the first step toward the league bringing these new jerseys to every team. Sure, there will be a painful period in a couple years where you'll have about half of the teams in the league opting for the new hotness, and the rest stubbornly clinging to the old ways. Funny to think, how, 30 years ago, it was a big deal to switch from sweaters with the drawstring at the neck, to closed neck jerseys with color.

However, attrition, the promise of tons of merchandising capital, and the plans of the league office to put the NHL on par with the other three sports by converting to these slick duds, will eventually win out. Prominent and identifiable logos will be replaced by impressionistic doodlings that amount to little more than a cross between a Madison Avenue board room and the accidents of your garden variety kindergarten art class.

It's time to lead a revolution, folks. Don't shell out $50 for the new design, just to outdo your friend and neighbor, and look cool in your seat. Go buy a retro jersey, or take an existing one and put the name and number of an old-time player on the back. Like the Sabres fans have since the 90's, write and call team management to request your traditional colors and logo. Demand your current players be schooled in that tradition, which may inspire them to achieve while wearing a crest they can be proud of.