Which Sounds Better?

Kansas City Penguins, Hamilton Penguins, Winnipe(n)guins...Hartford Whalers, Mark II?

That's where the whole Pittsburgh mess is heading now that Jim Balsillie is out of the running to rescue the Pens from their impending doom in the City of Bridges. From the sound of things, the Canadian-based inventor of the BlackBerry got his panties in a knot when the league higher-ups declined his chance to move the team if the whole new-arena deal fell through in Pittsburgh. Now, their slim chance of survival depends on the most capricious of all sure-shot deals: political favors.

Rumor has it, Governor Ed Rendell favors the Isle of Capri slots plan in Western Pennsylvania, and, if you read the oceans of thread on the Penguins web site devoted to saving the team, thousands of fans agree with him, and believe that the casino revenue would keep the Pens in place in a New Igloo somewhere downtown. However, the kind of back room dealings in Harrisburg that make these rumors juicy once reported, often reverse themselves away from the press in the inner-inner-sancta, where even the most intrepid reporter can't put his ear to the door and hear something buzzworthy.

There's no guarantee that Isle of Capri will be granted that slots license, and there's slim hopes that a back-up plan will hold water if a casino-type revitalization falls through.

Basically, folks, unless there is a miracle (and they DO happen every once in a while: see Jets, Winnipeg: 1995 Rally) the Penguins will be moving in the offseason once the team's lease with Mellon Arena expires. It's shocking how the league office, through the mouthpiece of the Commissioner, just sits back and issues comment once the best-laid-plans of businessmen don't come to fruition. So far, we've heard the league's pleasure at Balsillie's willingness to take up Pittsburgh's cause, and then the disappointment of his pull-out, but nothing in between. Even though the old regime under John Ziegler was roundly criticized for years about their country-club atmosphere and staid philosophies on the game, they did step in one time and actively saved a franchise.

In the early 1980's, Ralston-Purina (based in St. Louis) drove the Blues into bankruptcy because the corporation knew very little about how to run a hockey team, although it did earn praise for buying the team out of civic responsibility when it first went bankrupt in the late 70's. They eventually gave up control at the end of the 1982-83 season, and sold it off to a guy who was primed to move the franchise to Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. During the summer, the buyer backed out, and the Blues were in limbo until the NHL stepped in and acted as caretaker for a year before Harry Ornest stepped in to buy in 1984. Aside from the hysteria of possibly folding the team, and the fact that they did not have a draft pick that year, St.Louis made the playoffs in 1983-84, then won the Norris Division the following season.

Where is that benevolence now? Nowhere to be found except in revenue projections. Bettman is most concerned with the financial solvency of the league as it pertains to giving all 30 teams a shot, and, ultimately because his role is more the CEO of a corporation, he doesn't care if the Penguins remain in Pittsburgh or not - as long as the ledger looks clean and fair at the end of the season. Wherever the best deal is struck in the best interest of the NHL, that's where the Penguins will land. I believe the sincerity of his disappointment over Balsillie's parlor games, but that kind of righteous indignation can only last until someone else comes along with a better fail-safe plan.

I wish the swarms of Whalers faithful would stop creaming in their jeans over the prospect of the Penguins relocating to Hartford - if they failed to generate sufficient interest because the city and its fans lived smack in the middle of traditional Bruins and Rangers fans 10 years ago, they will fail again - even if they court more fans from Fairfield and New Haven Counties, even with the supposed windfall from corporate sponsorships because Hartford is the Insurance Capital of North America.

Rant aside, the worst thing that could happen from a competitive standpoint is that Crosby and Malkin are somehow split up because a potential deal to keep or move the Penguins forces a salary dump, where they'd have to choose between two young explosive stars. Interest in the league and the new product will spike when you have more than just one star keeping the other 24 players afloat. Judging by the beatings they've handed out on the Flyers and the dozen eye-popping plays they've had between them, the Terrible Twosome will have a bright future.

Rovers. Wanderers. Nomads. Vagabonds. Call them what you will. Just don't call them unprepared, because the rumors have been swirling in the Steel City for nearly a decade. It's just a matter of when the announcement comes down, something nobody truly knows. That's the worst kind of waiting.